Soap is not a condiment
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
