So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
