While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
