? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
