and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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