we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
