In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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