only you would photoshop your dick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
