i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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