My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
