she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
