is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
