you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
where are my eyebrows?
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