Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
