doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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