If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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