Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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