did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i love accidental penises.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
