I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
is it fun? or sober?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
