There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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