belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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