I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
