Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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