Me. At least after what I've been through.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
