i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
