how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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