i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
