I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
