can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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