all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Of course I have a pirate flag
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
