As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All the doctor said was why
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
