it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So. Much. Porn.
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