So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
