69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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