I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
