If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
