they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
did i walk over a car last night?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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