Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
