She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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