I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
