5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
