I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
