You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
