literally had 100 drinks last night.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
