so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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