So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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