its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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