i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
