Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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