weddingsv make me drug and hornr
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
