I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
