? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Randomize
