You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
are you so shy because you have an std?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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