Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
