It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
smell my finger.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
